Monday, 13 May 2013

Top Ten - Most Annoying NPCs

Throughout gaming there has been no shortage of annoying NPCs. For some reason, no matter how smart the AI gets, there is always some lunatic that makes you want hurl your controller/keyboard at the screen. This is my personal Top 10: Most Annoying NPCs let me know yours in the comments.

Number 10: Noober from Baldur’s Gate

Now this guy creeps in at number 10 for being the first annoying character I encountered in my life. Noober feels it was important to pin me into a corner, open a dialog box (which has to be closed before play continues) and ask me dumb questions like “Am I annoying you?” Yes Noober, you are annoying me.

Number 9: Cooking Mama

To this day I still don’t know why I played this game… This lady thought it would be great to yell incomplete sentences at me while I try to peel carrots and cook gnocchi at the same time. “A little bit” she would say. A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT?!?!

Number 8:  Sticky from Fallout 3

Sticky is a character in an Escort missions, but is the type of person that you just want to strangle. Seriously, he’s like a modern day Noober: “Are you sure you know where you’re going?...” Yes I know where I’m going, I have damn GPS on my Pip-boy! The great thing in Fallout 3 is you have the option, if you hate him as much as I do, to just shoot him in the face. Now that is true freedom.

Number 7: Mr. Bigpig from Spy Fox in “Dry Cereal”

I’m just going to start off by saying that this is the reason why I love eating bacon. I wanted nothing more that to annihilate this damn pig. Not only was he frustratingly hard to beat at Go Fish, but he was just plain rude. “Give me a four!” he’d yell. No please or thank you. What a douche. 

Touch the Demon inside me…
don’t worry, he’s not a bad Demon

Number 6: The Maiden in Black from Demon’s Souls

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for badly translated dialog and awful voice acting, it’s part of what makes games fun. But I draw the line when it’s a continuous drone of mispronounced words and sentences that just don’t make any sense. That being said I still didn’t have the heart to kill her, even if it meant the world might be mended… the world might be mended.

Number 5: Everyone in Skyrim

The Elder Scrolls games are just wonderful. To this day I still play Morrowind and Oblivion, even Daggerfall at times. Skyrim on the other hand was different; the gameplay was great, the graphics were wonderful, the freedom was something to behold but the NPC’s were questionable at best. Stop telling me what you think is wrong with people, and shut up about your damn knee!

Number 4: Kaepora Gaebora from Ocarina of Time

This is arguably the greatest game ever made. Everything about it was ground breaking but somehow familiar. I know a lot of people will instantly say Navi is the most annoying character, but I honestly feel that damn Owl was the biggest troll I have ever come across. All I know is that when he started explaining things to me all I wanted to do fall on my sword. Damn birds.

Number 3: Those damn Homeless/Drunk Lunatics in Assassin’s Creed

Let’s face it, anyone who played AC1 knows these guys and hates them with a burning passion. When I’m running through the streets being awesome and what not, I don’t want some drunk pushing me into guards resulting in a long tedious chase sequence; only to then be pushed by another lunatic into my pursuer’s oncoming blade.

Number 2: Aku-Aku from Crash Team Racing

Ok, I know he’s a good guy and what not and is actually really helpful in every other Crash Bandicoot game, but in CTR he is nothing more than an irritating floating plank of wood. After just about every race he feels the need to explain to you what a trophy is, or something in that vicinity. The real kicker is that you can’t skip any of it… Dude, just let me race!

Number 1: Moneybags from Spyro

This guy is undoubtedly the most irritating NPC that I have ever come across. The sheer hatred I have this guy is unparalleled. Who has ever heard of charging someone to be able to breath underwater? It’s a slap in the face. But, alas, Insomniac made it all worth it in Year of the Dragon when you get to beat the living crap out of Moneybags and take back all the gems he took from you, so satisfying.

Written By: Frank

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